Three weeks later
My son turned three weeks old yesterday. The sense of ease and rest that comes with a newborn in the house is slowly waking into the reality of another soul coming into existence. In those first three weeks a baby transforms from a fetus to a tiny human being, its digestive system engages for the first time, its lungs, its airways, all begin to spring into action.
I find it beautiful and tragic at the same time. The world is of course simultaneously a beautiful and a tragic place and here is someone new who needs to learn both sides of it. Fallen from the garden of the womb, where there is no sound too loud or stimulus too overwhelming, no such thing as air entering the stomach together with the milk, no light to signal the beginning or end of the day, there is an irrevertible loss of peace and innocence and quiet that must be on some level traumatic.
But the eyes also begin to reflect wonder. They can see now: that new and terrifying light is also responsible for reflecting back the faces of family, the colours of the universe. Sounds now enter the ear directly, unmuffled by amniotic fluid. There is every experience before you, awaiting.
It has been an intense few weeks. I am on paternity leave for another couple of weeks and have been experiencing the tremendously meaningful experience of watching my son emerge from his cocoon, interspersed with moments of boredom that I have not experienced for a very long time. The baby sleeps, the house is in order, and there is nothing for me to do but sit with my own thoughts. Of course I decided to take on ambitious projects: this new blog, reading several books at the same time, purchasing a house. It has all felt a bit too much for the last couple of days, and I have not been able to find the time for my morning walks which have grounded me for the past few months.
This morning I did manage to get out for a walk though, only a week since last time but the whole landscape had changed. Blossoms have given way to vibrant greenery. I felt the urge to write something for the first time in a few days and hurried home quickly to get it down. Three weeks is really no time at all.
Photograph: The tree in Pool River linear park which was covered with blossoms a few weeks ago.